Couples Counseling
Shocked but not surprised.
Chris and Jess had a major disruption in their peaceful 17-year marriage. A friend let something slip, and Jess learned that there was more going on during Chris’ late nights at work than keeping demanding clients happy.
Their quiet home became a battle zone, and landmines exploded even by being in the same room together. Jess was willing to see this as a wake-up call to renegotiate the relationship. Chris wanted the marriage to work, but not the way it was.
They both knew they were too angry and embarrassed to do anything helpful, yet doing nothing was not an option. Fears and worries spun out of control.
They worked so hard to start a family of their own. Now, there were many unanswered questions. What is this doing to the kids? Can there ever be trust again? Will this sickening feeling ever go away? Is monogamy required for this to work? Could monogamy be fun?
Slow road to a rut.
It’s like the proverbial frog in cold water. The stressors (i.e., heat) have slowly been building, day after day, year after year.
Connection turned into logistics management. Joint decisions transformed into hidden purchases and excessive veto power, even if unspoken. They loved each other yet couldn’t stand doing life with each other.
Now that the kids demanded less time, Jim’s rising blood pressure and Lisa’s frequent drinking were hard to ignore – not to mention the hidden coping strategies.
While going through motions, bickering about the same things, they each thought and worried that the other would drop the ‘D’ word any day. Yet, they feared the impact on the kids, their lifestyle, and their financial futures.
They were ready for a truce.
Staring Down a Long, Scary Road
Liz and Tyler both thought they were in the relationship to go the distance. Yet, they felt a swirl of the uncertainty of whether to leap.
Tyler was devastated when his parents divorced during his early teens and have never felt right since that time. Liz had the ‘perfect’ upbringing yet often thought she had to pick between her family and Tyler.
One was ready to move forward on any given day, but the other pulled back; the next day, they flip-flopped. They feared that marriage might not work.
They both knew marriage should be forever, yet they felt so uncertain a lasting and happy marriage was possible. Each already feared that sex life would not last and cease to be fun, but talking about that fear was hard.
There had to be another way.
From disharmony to harmony
I’ll meet you where you are and give you a jumpstart to being present to yourself, to each other, and to your fears and your hopes.
We’ll create space for authentic conversations so we can identify repairs to make and problems to solve.
I’ll be the accountability partner you each need to take care of what is rightfully yours and to prevent ‘overstepping bounds.’
We’ll dedicate one-on-one time to resolve the past wounds, so they stop hijacking you in the present.
